I swear that every office tower in this city is engineered to quell uprisings via loss of digits: “Can’t fight the man without your pinkies, bitchesssss!”

In related news, I am freaking freezing.

Dirt Dessert

Ingredients

• 1 large package Oreo cookies
• 1/2 stick butter
• 1 eight ounce package cream cheese
• 1 1/2 C powdered sugar
• 2 1/2 C milk
• 1 package instant pudding - you can play with flavors here: vanilla for traditional, chocolate for generally out of control
• 4 tsp instant espresso powder (optional but I recommend if you use chocolate pudding)
• 1 (12 ounce) carton Cool Whip
• Accoutrements: such as gummy worms, graham cracker grave stones, peanut m&m rocks, flower pots…the list is nearly endless

Directions

Crush well one whole package of Oreo cookies (a few pulses in a food processor should do it). Set aside.

Cream together butter, cream cheese and powdered sugar. In separate bowl, mix together milk, pudding mix, cool whip and espresso (if you’re using it), add to creamed mixture.

Layer cookies and pudding mix, ending with cookies.

That is IT. Now you can embellish this as much as you want with worms and cemetery necessities or anything else you want. I generally put it in tupperware, tell people about it, and let it disappear as if attacked by vacuum cleaners.

Yes.